Saturday, March 10, 2007

The Dream of Losing and Finding

This experience called earth is a dream I have consciously created so I can experience what it feels like to lose myself so I can find myself.

Trying to lose myself is a bit of a tall order because it is impossible for me to ever get lost.

Let's say I am trying to find my way to a certain street but I'm not sure how to get there. I appear to be lost and I'm standing outside a supermarket in the High Street. I ask a passer-by how to get to the street and he points the way. The truth is I was never lost in the first place because I knew I was standing outside the supermarket in the High Street.

Another reason why it's impossible to get lost is because I always know who I am. There have been many times when I've fallen asleep and woken up and forgotten the human personality but I have always known who I am as clear awareness. How can I possibly forget who I am when I always know who I am?

The game of life that I have created to experience what it feels like to be lost is rather like asking a passer-by for directions when I know very well where I am at that moment. But I pretend I'm lost anyway. To help make getting lost more convincing, I dream myself as a human with a set of beliefs of lack and limitation. I dream myself preoccupied with trying to stay alive and finding a purpose in life. I dream myself going to school, finding a job, finding a partner etc. From time to time, when I am overwhelmed by the dream, I dream myself calling out to a higher power to help me. I may even dream that these experiences of lack are teaching tools to help me focus on a higher power, who I should depend on for my supply. The higher power supplies my needs with wonderful dreams until I dream myself into another situation when I call upon the higher power again to help me...and so the dream repeats itself. While these dreams are occurring, my real self that is clear awareness observes the drama and allows the dreams to continue.

After I've been dreaming about losing myself for however long it is, I decide it's time to wake up to who I am. So I dream myself ways to help me wake up. I dream up spiritual teachers, guides, tools, and religions to help me find my way. I may even dream myself a yardstick to determine how evolved my consciousness is on the path. Let's use rain as an analogy of the consciousness yardstick. The tools I have to cope with rain depends on my consciousness. I could shield myself by using an umbrella or raincoat; I could stand in a shelter; I could wish the rain would stop; I could command the rain to stop; I could get depressed because it's raining; I could walk in the rain; I could be grateful that the rain is here to feed the trees; or it never rains when I'm outside. While I'm dreaming of elevating my consciousness and awakening, my real self that is clear awareness knows there is no such thing as awakening, but I allow the dream to continue.

One day I dream that I'm finally "awake" to who I really am. I dream about sharing my experiences with others so they too can awaken to who they really are. I may even dream up students, a religion or following so I can teach how to awaken from the dream. While I'm dreaming of teaching others how to awaken to their real self, my real self that is clear awareness knows there is no such thing as teaching others how to awaken, but I allow the dream to continue.

Then one day I decide I've had enough of dreaming. I want to focus on simply being who I am - clear awareness. It's time to dissolve the dreams that do not represent who I am being. That's when all hell breaks loose because the dreams I have created appear to have taken a life of their own and want to continue the dream of losing and finding. This is when I have to put my foot down, take control, and decree: "I, as Light, have created and sustained these dreams; and I, as Light, am now dissolving these dreams."

I am the Light of clear awareness.


Related articles: There is Only One Lucid Dreamer; Masks; Non-Judgment and Faith; Beauty Secrets; Going Nowhere Fast; Weaning; The Gift of Unbelief; The Game of Life; The Creator, Sustainer and Destroyer; The Game of Hide and Seek