Saturday, March 17, 2007

Why am I?

I wrote in a previous post about how I was able to read a friend's blog without being aware he even had a blog. I tried to figure out how I had done this and then I had a knowing that it had something to do with intending it from the innermost part of my being, though I didn't consciously know how this was done.

What is being. I know that when I'm in silence, I am being. Being is the Cause behind all that appear. We can all experience Being from silence. I know that as Being I have no beginning or end. One thing I don't know, nor can I ever know, is why I am.

Why am I?
Why is life?
Why is God?

"Why is God" is the unknown factor, the unfathomable nature of being, the mystery of life. Imagine what can happen when you let go of trying to know what is unfathomable and just let the mystery express Itself. Just imagine.

In Carlos Castaneda's The Active Side of Infinity, Castaneda takes a journey through inner silence, a.k.a. the "dark sea of awareness" where he's able to meet his teacher, don Juan, in a town, but he hasn't got a clue how he got there as he didn't travel by "conventional mode of transport." Castaneda dismisses their meeting as a dream. Later, Carlos discusses his dream journey with don Juan.

"But it's unbelievable that I actually went to that town, don Juan, in body and soul," I said.

"It is unbelievable, but it's not unlivable," he said. "The universe has no limits, and the possibilities at play in the universe at large are indeed incommensurable. So don't fall prey to the axiom, 'I believe only what I see,' because it is the dumbest stand one can possibly take." (p. 182)
Don Juan suggests they take another journey.

"You must deliberately journey through the dark sea of awareness," he replied, "but you will never know how this is done. Let's say that inner silence does it, following inexplicable ways, ways that cannot be understood, but only practiced." (p. 183)
Don Juan instructs Castaneda to sit and adopt the position of inner silence. Soon they find themselves in a Yaqui town where they observe people as they go about their affairs. When they return, Carlos is still puzzled how they managed to travel to that town without leaving the house.
I lay down in my bed and tried desperately to recollect, to call back my memory to probe the depths of my very being for a clue as to how I had gone to the Yaqui town, and to the railroad-station town. I didn't believe that they had been dream-fantasies, because the scenes were too detailed to be anything but real, and yet they couldn't possibly have been real.

"You're wasting your time," don Juan said, laughing. "I guarantee you that you will never know how we got from the house to the Yaqui town, and from the Yaqui town to the railroad station, and from the railroad station to the house. There was a break in the continuity of time. That is what inner silence does." [...]

Don Juan reiterated to me over and over that I had witnessed something specific and inexplicable. I had understood what people were saying, without knowing their language, and I had seen the strand of energy that connected human beings to certain other beings, and I had selected those aspects through an act of intending it. He stressed the fact that this intending I had done was not something conscious or volitional; the intending had been done at a deep level, and had been ruled by necessity. I needed to become cognizant of some of the possibilities of journeying through the dark sea of awareness, and my inner silence had guided intent - a perennial force in the universe - to fulfill the need. (p.186)
Back to my original question. There are things about myself I don't understand because I don't know why I am. I just know that I am the mystery.

I trust in the mystery that I AM to express in its unfathomable ways.


Related articles: While the Cat's Away, the Mice Will Play; The Dream of Losing and Finding; The Causeless Cause; Unknown Territory, Causeless Cause