Monday, April 30, 2007

Excess Baggage

My mother was getting her clothes ready for church the following day. She said she had a scarf that would match her costume but it was in a suitcase underneath two other suitcases. Could I help her remove the ones on top? I shifted the two suitcases for her.

After a few minutes mum said, "You're going to be very cross with me."

"Why?"

"Because the scarf wasn't in that suitcase," she smiled sheepishly. "It's in the next one up."

"No problem."

I put the suitcase she wanted to look in on her bed and left her to rummage inside. After a few minutes she was back.

"You're really going to be angry with me," she said.

"Now what?"

"I'm afraid the scarf wasn't in that suitcase either, it's in the top suitcase."

"I see," I said.

While I was putting back the suitcases in the order I'd found them, I was thinking "God give me strength."

"Sorry about getting you to lift them for nothing."

"It's OK, mum."

I wondered why I had been sent on that wild goose chase. All will be revealed I'm sure.

Later I sat quietly watching television. I was half-sleepy. I was in two minds whether to go to bed or to have a shower and then go to bed. Decisions, decisions! Mum asked me if I was tired.

"No, I'm fine."

"I thought you were still tired after lifting those suitcases."

"No, that happened an hour ago, mum. I was just wondering whether I should have a shower or not."

"So you're not still upset with me for giving you all that work?"

"Of course not! As far as I'm concerned it was over the moment I put back the suitcases."

"That's good," she said, "because I've been feeling really guilty for putting you through all that hassle."

"There was no need for you to feel guilty, mum," I said. "Like I said, I let go of the incident the moment I put the suitcases back."

"Good, I can let go of my guilt then."

"Mum, you do make me laugh," I said. "You sound like people who are still angry over slavery."

"Well, they have a right to be angry because they weren't compensated after they were free. Other groups have been compensated."

"Mum, as far as I'm concerned, slavery ended when it ended."

"But the people who are angry are descendants of slaves."

"Well, I'm not a descendant of slaves, I am Spirit."

"Not many people think like you."

"I guess not," I sighed. "I guess I don't have the belief that something that happened many centuries ago has to have an impact on me now."

Mum and I agreed to disagree.

Speaking of which, last night I watched a documentary on television called Fat Man's Warning about a 30 stone American who comes to Britain with a mission to warn Brits that if they're not careful they could end up being as fat as him. He believes Britain is four years behind America as far as obesity is concerned. He went round carrying a placard with the words: "The Future is Fat."

For me, the man's mission represented the belief that your past behaviour affects who you are being now. If you believe what you're eating is not only bad for you but has lasting consequences, then you should expect your belief to accompany you in the form of psychological and/or eating disorders, obesity and other diseases. I believe in eating what I love and enjoying whatever it is at that moment. Once I've finished whatever I'm eating, that experience is over and it's on to the next moment.

Incidentally, a few days ago mum asked me how much I weighed because she thought I looked thinner. I said I hadn't weighed myself in a while but I believed I was 8 stone (112 pounds). The next morning I weighed myself and I was 8 stone; I showed mum the evidence. I've been 8 stone for six years and I intend to keep it that way. The future, as I see it, is 8 stone.

The wonderful thing about freewill is we are free to choose what we believe in. We can choose to feel guilty or not. We can choose to feel angry over an experience and join others who feel just like us, or not. I wonder how many people will continue to hold a grudge if they realised it's a baggage they are choosing to carry?

Every moment is a new opportunity to be Love, even when I appear to have been sent on a wild goose chase.

Love is the only excess baggage I choose to carry with me everywhere I go.

Enocia

Related articles: When You Know You're On a Wild Goose Chase; The Causeless Cause; Love Dissolves Grudges; Diets, Diets, and More Diets; New Year's Resolution and Perfection; Guilt Complex; The Future is Joy; Of Innocence and Consequences; Just Say Now; Thoughts on Good and Evil