Sunday, June 17, 2007

Pandora's Box

Many moons ago I met this young man at a healing workshop. It was love at first sight for me. Well, I discovered he felt the same way. I enjoyed flirting with him during the course and it felt great. I put out an intention to spend time with him at the end. The Universe arranged it where my friend asked him to join us for a drink. It was heavenly.

The only snag was I wasn't in the position to have a relationship. At the time, I was preoccupied with courses, changing life direction, and self-discovery. So was he. But I couldn't get him out of my head. Fortunately, I'd learned how to erase troublesome thought forms so I did. I erased the romantic thoughts I had about him. After that I felt at peace. It was as if the tap had been turned off.

The next time I saw him he was very aloof. He said he didn't want to be distracted and he preferred to focus on his studies. Bloody cheek! At least it showed I had successfully erased that thought form. I still think of him from time to time and wonder how he is. I don't imagine an alternative reality of us being together though because I'm totally present here. I do wish him well.

Last year I fell in love. I, Self, warned myself beforehand that I was going to experience what I'd always dreamed about. Soon after, a guy who I'd been platonic friends with told me he was seeing me in a different light. I felt the same way and bang, we were in love. We experienced that euphoria for one night only, holding hands, snogging, and gazing into one another's eyes. We didn't have sex though. The whole thing blew up the next day and we realised it was best to stay friends.

Although I felt sad about not being able to pursue the relationship, it wasn't a "I can't live without you" sadness, thank God. I knew I was no longer capable of getting depressed the way I used to after a relationship ended. I'm way too comfortable being by myself to get that low. What was new about this was it had opened up Pandora’s Box for me, but in a very good way. I always thought I had a lot of love to give, which I express in writing. I now realised I had so much more. I was like a love-sick puppy wanting to see my friend but he was away at the time. I channelled all that love into writing. I saw only love; I felt only love; I knew only love; I wrote only about love.

I met someone recently who I feel that intensity of love with. Here we go again, the floodgates have opened even further. It feels like joy, goodness, happiness, laughter, friendship, bliss, ecstasy all rolled into one. I love feeling it, it's all around me, it's all me; it's all love.

What to do with all this love?

Yesterday, I noticed someone had left a comment in response to a post I wrote years ago at my Power to Share blog. While I was responding to the message I felt this rush of Love pouring out. At least that's how I can use the love. Either that or I could go hug a tree or something. :-)

I am boundless Love.

Enocia

Related article: Marriage, Affairs and Divorce; Continuity; Endless Love